Why I decided to hire a private midwife for my first birth

(A story I used to feel weird about, that I'm now ok with)

This is something that comes up quite a lot in my work, so I wanted to talk about it a bit more in detail. Firstly I just want to acknowledge that there is a certain amount of privilege in being able to invest in a private midwife. But I also want to acknowledge that your birth (and yourself, and your baby) are absolutely worth investing in, and I knew instinctively in my pregnancy that this birth was going to change my life forever, and I just wanted the best support possible, taking into consideration what I wanted for my birth.

When I first became pregnant I realised I really liked the idea of a home birth, and after a bit of research I decided I was totally convinced that for me, home was the palace to be.

For me (as for many) the hospital had connotations of illness and death and I just knew I would be more comfortable and relaxed at home. I felt strong and confident in my decision, despite a few unhelpful words from family members.

The only problem was NUH’s lack of a reliable home birth service. Back then it was running (unlike right now, but that’s another story) but it was patchy, and I had been told to prepare for the chance a midwife would not be available to come out to me. Being a planner, I knew I was more comfortable with more certainty than that…. I was obviously so prepared to go in if I needed to for a legitimate medical concern, but the idea of having to change all my plans due to short staffing was not what I wanted. I REALLY wanted this home birth. Like really, really.

So we looked into our options and worked out how we could make it happen. We looked into doula support as well as private midwifery (very different roles of course, let's chat about that another time) and I decided although I loved the idea of a doula, and went on to hire one for my second birth and become one myself, for this birth I wanted a midwife, and I wanted to be at home. Now the REAL dream would be to have both wouldn’t it?! Continuity of care from a trusted midwives AND doula. Now wouldn’t that be beautiful.

Edit: I now (years later than the original blog) have a package that offers exactly this. Continuity of care from a wonderful independent midwife (Amie) and myself as a doula! If you are looking for the Ultimate Home Birth Support Package, let's have a chat!

So, we settled on a midwife and found someone local who I really loved, she was very experienced, calm and trusting of physiological birth, but I knew she could also be firm with me if she needed to (which I felt like I might need/want at the time.) We figured out how to budget for it, spent very little on baby gear, got bits second hand and managed to make it work. Throughout the whole process I had to KEEP reminding myself that this kind of birth support is life changing and is well worth investing in.

And guess what…it WAS life changing. Without that incredible, transformative, POWERFUL home birth….Twelve Moons would not be here. That birth was everything. It made me realise the strength of women, my own strength and determination AS well as my total and utter obsession with birth. I knew that the preparation I did, the support I gathered and the choices I made, ALL had a huge impact on what was an epic first birth. And having that support from my midwife, in my own home, postpartum was invaluable. On the day of her last visit, I cried and cried to see her go.

So, if you are wondering if investing in a doula or private midwife is worth it….ask yourself are you worth it? Is your baby worth it? And I guarantee you, the answer is yes. Your birth will shape you (and your whole family) for years to come. It is not just a day (or three.)

My first birth story

Check out my Doula Support

My Antenatal course